Canyonlands Craft Cannabis

Crafted in the canyon of our collective imagination

⚠️ This brand does not exist.

Small-craft fictional cannabis cultivated in the layered geological imagination of Canyonlands National Park territory.

Flower

Products by Canyonlands Craft Cannabis

Canyonlands Craft Jack Herer

Canyonlands Craft Jack Herer

Flower / Sativa

THC 21.0%

$47.00 / 1/8 oz

Emperor-grade fiction from the canyon corridors of Utah. Jack would approve o...

by Canyonlands Craft Cannabis

Canyonlands Purple Punch

Canyonlands Purple Punch

Flower / Indica

THC 20.5%

$44.00 / 1/8 oz

Purple as a Utah mesa at dusk, fictional Purple Punch from Canyonlands hits l...

by Canyonlands Craft Cannabis

Canyonlands AK-47

Canyonlands AK-47

Flower / Hybrid

THC 20.0%

$45.00 / 1/8 oz

Precision-grown fictional AK-47 from Canyonlands, as accurate and powerful as...

by Canyonlands Craft Cannabis

Canyonlands Craft Lemon Haze

Canyonlands Craft Lemon Haze

Edibles / Gummies

THC 19.0%

$42.00 / 1/8 oz

Citrus-sharp fictional Lemon Haze from canyon country. Bright as the Utah des...

by Canyonlands Craft Cannabis

Satire Ends Here

While the rest of this site is a joke, cannabis prohibition is not funny. Opiates and hard drugs are devastating communities. Cannabis is not the enemy. Here's how to take real action in Utah:

Advocacy Organizations

The nation's largest cannabis advocacy organization, working to reform marijuana laws since 1970.

Marijuana Policy Project National

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Contact Your US Senators

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For state legislators, visit openstates.org — enter your address to find your representatives.

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⚠️ SATIRE DISCLOSURE

This is a work of political satire. All store names, brand names, products, and events on this site are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real businesses is coincidental. No cannabis is sold here. This site exists to highlight the absurdity of prohibition and to connect people with real advocacy resources.

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